Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Scam of Compassion

What’s the definition of compassion? Let’s check a few dictionaries and with a Lama.            
Webster’s Dictionary says: Feeling of wanting to help someone who is sick, hungry, in trouble, etc. Sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it.
Dictionary.com says: a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

The Dalai Lama says a lot of things,
“I believe that the purpose of life is to be happy.  From the moment of birth, every human being wants happiness and does not want suffering.  Neither social conditioning nor education nor ideology affect this.  From the very core of our being, we simply desire contentment.”…..“ From my own limited experience I have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion.”

He says SO MUCH STUFF, but if you keep reading you’ll see that he has put the definition of compassion and empathy together mixed in with social responsibility. He calls it Interdependence and defines it as this:
“Inter-dependence, of course, is a fundamental law of nature. Not only higher forms of life but also many of the smallest insects are social beings who, without any religion, law or education, survive by mutual cooperation based on an innate recognition of their interconnectedness.” (If this is innate knowledge, why do people have to learn this???)

Now this compassion business, it’s complicated and is a very deep issue today. The problems lie within the word compassion (if you look you’ll even find the letters s-c-a-m, fun fact!) and its definition. Look at the definition of compassion, you surprised? Probably no one ever looks it up, but you’ll see the ‘strong desire to….’ Is common in both. Most people today, Dalai Lama included, combine a few words to make compassion.

Social responsibility
Giving love and kindness
Empathy
Sympathy
+          Good deeds
=          Compassion

What is social responsibility? They teach it to us in business schools, church, you see famous people doing it and think “I should do that, because it seems like it’s the right thing to do.” Then when all is said and done, “no I don’t want to go and help other people,” they show you Mother Teresa and lay the biggest guilt trip of all time on you. “Look at Mother Teresa, see what she did? She spent her WHOLE life helping other people! How selfish are you? You should be more like her!” Some people even bring Jesus into it, yeah Jesus showed compassion to the blind man, we should be more like him. I say this “Oh, Hell no!” First off Jesus never showed compassion, the blind dude on the road? The disciples asked, why was he born blind? Jesus replies, “…this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” This is not compassion, he’s showing off his mojo!


Let’s actually look at Mother Teresa’s face for a moment, she’s in her 70-80s here. This is not the face of a happy person. Here’s the face of Annette Larkins. She’s 70, vegan, and seems to actually look happy!


If I remember correctly, Annette farms her own vegetables as well and seems to actually enjoy life (Sex for sure that’s easy to tell, but not M. Teresa and I guarantee she didn’t get any!). Age is not about numbers, that’s garbage from school, and how would that apply to Annette? Those rules wouldn’t apply to her. Age is about memories, the painful ones, the sad ones, the ones with negative energy. When you let them go and only hold on to the good and happy memories, you start looking better, younger, and even become healthier.

If you have studied body language for a few years, you would know that your face muscles stretch, in the directions you pull them most. If you frown most of your life, you develop frown lines. If you smile you develop crow’s feet by your eyes and your lips are stretched upwards not downwards. Annette looks like she’s been happy throughout her life, Mother Teresa on the other hand no. Look at Teresa’s face, she’s been sad, angry, resentful, regretful, and has cried many rivers! That second picture of Mother Teresa up there, she even looks like she’s about to cry, and it’s not because she’s full of tranquil inner peace and love. Mother Teresa felt no love or faith, she lost faith in her own religion towards the end! Talk about the side effects of a bad drug, she said “Jesus has a very special love for you, As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear."

Love keeps you young and beautiful, does not turn you into old grumpy hunchback slow motion people! I’ve seen a female yoga instructor who was 60 but looked 30, a 50-year old woman who looked 30. I’ve even met a 78-year old man who had just gotten his 20-year old Vietnamese wife pregnant and who went jogging every morning. He also looked freakishly young. I could also mention that 77-old vegan dude who’s got a body that most men have no discipline to acquire. That’s just the power of REAL love.

Now, what does the power of sadness, regret, resentment, anger, guilt and shame have on your looks? Well it makes you age VERY quickly! Don’t go bringing drug users like Keith Richards into this conversation, the drug was just a symptom of a bigger existing issue and he would probably look like anyways from whatever was in his head. Look at people, how many 30-year olds have you seen that look almost 50? You can bring in obesity, it’s also a reflection of how you look inside.

Interesting, how does this have anything to do with compassion? Mother Teresa is the face of compassion, look what a life of that did to her. Let’s be honest, in India she was a vegetarian most likely (you eat the meat, death comes sooner than later…). She felt no love. Love gives you wings and looks. So we’ve established what compassion does to you, but ‘how’ is the question. I’ve learnt that compassion is what happens when you come across someone unfortunate and your energy is stolen, that’s why you feel the desire to help that person. Some might say, “What’s wrong with that? I’m helping someone, I’m doing a good deed, and I’m doing the right thing.”

So let’s get rid of a few illusions, there is no “right” thing to do that is something that society has decided, long before you were born. There’s only “what” you do, and whatever you do is the “right” thing because it can’t happen any other way. It’s just GOT to be that way! Get it? No, alright, let’s keep going. What is “help” exactly? Alright let’s just examine India for a second, Mother Teresa was there for a long time doing “good” no? How’s that country holding up now? It’s still a complete hole. I mean, you can’t open your mouth when you shower or parasites, if you wear sandals you might get worms in your toenails, hygiene is so bad that stomach problems usually befall travelers going there. Look at the people, it’s a huge population living in poverty.

Where is the result of all the compassion? And before anyone starts speaking about how India is just one example, I beg you to look at Southeast Asia, China, Africa, and South America before saying anything. What about the all the NGOs? How about the hospitals? How are the schools and orphanages? Have countries actually changed with compassion? Not just in India, look at the other countries, it’s a tragedy! Compassion further separates the rich from the poor and creates a larger poverty gap. Compassion comes with the compassionate, and if you took one of those away, would you have the other? In fact, which one came first?

Then the religious people, I love arguing with these guys, I can hear it already.
“Hey, we HAVE to do God’s work.”…."we need to show them compassion and love…”
Alright, where do I begin? Why would you want to worship a god that created the conditions for compassion to begin with? What if everyone was equal, money wasn’t a concern, and we all took care of the planet and ate from it plentifully? Why doesn’t anyone’s god tell them to destroy the system that created the problems for compassion to begin with? What about the devil? Surely he’s to blame for problems. Then you have to admit that god either made a mistake, or is being mean on purpose. Either way, it’s not love and it’s definitely not right. We are taught how compassion makes us Better People, how it will Do Us Good, and secure us a place Somewhere Nice when we die. Maybe religious people like the self-righteous feeling they get from it, their drug of choice.

Compassion doesn’t fix anything, it’s giving a man fish versus teaching him how to fish. You can’t actually help people who can’t help themselves, if the environment and system is the problem then that’s another issue. But giving somebody money, or putting an orphanage anywhere isn’t going to help. I haven’t heard the Dalai Lama talk about dismantling our socioeconomic system in order to truly fix this world. Helping someone live another day, week, or year is useless because their survival will depend on you sometimes, and then what next? What if you donate money to someone, then you find out they decided to go out to an expensive restaurant and get wasted on good alcohol? Would you be angry that they didn’t use common sense or would you think that maybe the person thought, I’ll never get another chance to enjoy life so take it now?

You are here to find love, and you can only love YOURSELF. That’s the real definition of happiness, this is how you get it. Compassion derails it entirely though. Can you love yourself when you’re feeling resentful for not doing what YOU actually WANT to do? What if compassion requires you to give up something you want? Give it up and you will be full of resentment. How is that loving? You will end up giving bad energy to those you help, so what’s the point? If you actually WANT to help someone because it’s 100% your decision (not because your energy was stolen and you felt the desire to help that person out of pity) then go ahead and do it! I insist, that sounds loving. If I came across a sad friend, I would only try to cheer him up if that was something I WANTED to do. If I didn’t WANT to cheer him up, and I faked it or forced it, how would that be loving? It’s not honest because that’s not being honest to yourself for being there and it would be dishonest to him. So how is that compassion loving? At least being dishonest to your true feelings and emotions is not loving.

There is no such thing as loving other people, that doesn’t exist. If you have love in your heart you are able to share it. When you are in a great relationship (most of you will never experience this, sorry it’s society’s fault not mine.) you give love to the other person and you should get it back right? How do you get it back with compassion? What you’re supposed to get something just because you did something for someone else? I don’t remember slaves getting that, and yes you may say the argument is contextual, but it’s about getting energy back after giving it away. I do not see how you get any energy back, because in most cases the people you help you never see again. And how is a smile on their face supposed to give you anything?

Compassion requires you to be dishonest to yourself a lot, and for you to go out of your way to help other people. And without people like you, they wouldn’t be able to survive on their own. Which brings me to the social responsibility part of it. Why are you responsible for other people? The Dalai Lama uses the example from nature, how insects work in harmony to survive. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m not a damned bug, I’m a fierce creature, I’m a fighter and a prophet! I’m at least a Black Panther, I ain’t no bug. Do you see panthers working together? What happened to dog-eat-dog world? Compassion is ignoring the cycle of life, it’s almost like we’re playing god now. People scream all around the world, animals are going extinct! Yeah, that’s true, but most of them are not man’s fault, in fact many of them just die out. Compassion would have saved those weak links and kept them going, even if it was a total waste of time and their survival was dependent on you. How would that be loving or right in any way? 


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Keep it civil! Keep it peaceful!